Deep Stuff

I tend to not get into deep, controversial spiritual issues on my blog, but tonight I have a thought on my mind and feel like sharing.  I was browsing through facebook and I saw a comment by one of my friends.

"The worst thing about Hell is not fire, brimstone, or the torture.  The worst thing about Hell will be the absence of God."

I agree with this statement and it triggered something.  Interestingingly enough, it goes against my perspective of hell as a child.  I grew up in an environment where hell was a threat of sorts.  I spent many a night during my childhood and teenage years where I was terrified to sleep for fear that I would go to sleep and never wake up.  I was terrified of death and always afraid that I might slip up--that I would do something wrong and go to hell.  I heard story after story about 'backsliders' who turned from God and died horrible and grotesque deaths. The God of my growing up years was not one of love, but of terror.  I feared him and did not want to provoke him for fear of an eternal punishment of torture.  Yet, I also felt a strange feeling of love for and from God, which was strange because he sounded terrifying from the pulpit.

As I grew older, I slowly began to gain a new perspective of God.  I realized that he was not the monster that I had thought him to be, but that he was LOVING and kind. He loved me in spite of all my mistakes and all my faults.  He was a loving parent, not an abusive taskmaster. With this new view of God came a new view of hell.  I am definitely not a biblical scholar, although I've always thought it would be great to be one, so my views are simply that--my opinions. Over the past few years, I have begun to look at hell in a new way.  I grew up with stories of hell, fire, and brimstone---the earth opening up and swallowing people whole. Falling forever and ever. It was a physical place.  But I don't think I agree with that perspective of hell anymore.  I look at it more as a place where God is absent. It's not a place where people are thrown as a punishment for of all their sins.  Hell is the absence of God for those who choose not to believe in /follow Him. They choose to life their lives without his presence. I believe that God is present each and every day here on earth-- in the beauty of the earth, the sound of the birds chirping, the excitement of a baby being born, the relationship with loved ones--His presence is felt even for those who are not currently loving Him so perhaps none of us can imagine a place that is completely void of Him.  And I think that is what 'hell' is-- a place in which one does not feel God. I view all of the talk of brimstone, fire, etc. as figurative language.  Perhaps a way to try and convey to our mere human minds what life without God may feel like. Is it a real place? I don't claim to know that. Perhaps it's a place of the mind. I don't think anyone really knows.  We can claim to know it all, but I don't think anyone here on Earth really knows. And perhaps that's the wonder of it. We follow by faith and faith alone. 

Tonight as I was reading the Facebook post, I had a giant revelation. Although I've tried to rid myself of that old perspective of hell, it still haunts me and I have spent many a night in fear.  Even though my relationship with God has changed and grown, the old ways don't die.  But tonight, I realized that if I believe that hell is for people who do not want God, then what do I have to fear? I DO want God.  I DO believe in Him.  I DO follow after Him, so what do I have to fear? I don't have to live in constant fear that if I slip up and make a mistake, I will be banished to the pits of hell.  It's such a freeing thought.As I read that simple post, my eyes welled up with tears and I felt a peace. The peace of God. Thank you God for that peace. And thank you poster, because I think that simple post---just a thought---was meant for me. :)

I don't know why  I decided to share this with you.  It seems quite personal and not something I share lightly.  Yet, I feel an urge to share it. So here it is. Feel free to agree or disagree. These are simply my thoughts, how I feel, the way that I'm viewing the world....:)

I'll leave you with the words of MLKJ:

"Free at last, free at last. Thank God Almight, I'm free at last."